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This is a satire I did for my English class in honor of Jonathan Swift who wrote a satirical proposal about eating babies to solve hunger.

People complain too much about taxes. But the taxes pay for myriad things; like roads, schools, and  prisons. I must admit, taxes are a tad high. So, I have written to you, Mr. President, a rather modest proposal to lower these nerve-racking taxes. I think it is fair because the un-humble subjects of the proposal have proven their uselessness to the government and society. They have been detrimental.

I want you to consider shipping all the prisoners who have a life sentence (God knows there are many) to a deserted island. And you could let them kill or molest (or whatever the wicked people do) each other. Thus, you can close many of the high security prisons and people would not have to pay high taxes to keep a wicked soul in a cell.

But there is also the subject of making money in this rather modest proposal. I say, for the government to make more money (tons, actually), put hidden cameras on that island to film the prisoners kill or do whatever to each other. America would be enthralled with it. Imagine the sales! America would be able to support itself on the profits without much taxes…But you must keep secret that the government is behind the reality series. Like always, the American people can be jipped …Did I mention the profits?

Please consider this proposal for all it’s worth. I mean, other presidents have tried to lower taxes but always ended up raising them. I think there is no better way than what I have proposed. Activists may object, but who cares about those sissies? Sure, the families of the prisoners may also object. You could send them to die with their beloved family member. But as long as the American people are entertained and thinking they are paying less money, then the U.S.A. should just be hunky dorey…Unless you want America to lay dead in a gutter full of plagued rats and trash of other countries.

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